Questioning Myself
Who am I? Am I just another ordinary person that you just met? Am I your best friend? Am I your friend who thinks too much about a thing?
It might be easier for you to answer than for me to answer the questions, I guess. I’m really confused. I never really had this kind of feeling. This just hit me few days ago. I start wondering who the hell I actually am. Who am I to people I love? Do I matter to them like they matter to me?
Now that I’ve come to think of it…,
I feel so useless. You know, the feeling you got when you can’t do much to change what you really want to change? That’s the closest to describe what I’ve been feeling lately. I wanna change this and that but I don’t have the ability to do so because I am nobody. I’m too far away from perfection and that kinda makes me desperate. Not that I’m lurking for perfection. What I want is, at least, to do a good thing. And I know I can’t do that thing because I am not good enough. It is frustating. At the end of the day, I decided not to do anything I’d been dying to do because I don’t want people to feel disappointed just because I wasn’t good enough for them.
If I couldn’t understand myself, then who could?
Ughhh.
