The article below was originally written by me, published on Magdalene.co, here.
As human, we are fascinated by instant gratifications. We want everything to exist in the fastest way possible with the least amount of effort. We buy lottery tickets because there is a possibility, no matter how little, that we’d get instantly rich. We love good news that we’ve never seen coming. Each day we appreciate less and less the good news that we’ve expected already.
Sadly, the way we long for instant gratification also affects our view on women. When the ambitious girl in your class graduates with a perfect GPA, you know it is nothing special. She will not get as much spotlight on her graduation day than another girl who is known to have partied every night, gotten drunk, rarely attended classes, but still graduates with the same perfect GPA. Surprise, surprise!
When there are two spectrums of successful women, we try to balance it. While one side values the powerful, intellectual, and organized kind of women, the other side places their highest standard on the pretty, slim-figured, long lustrous hair who earn their living by selling their beauty. Our desire for instant gratification admires the balance of both sides, hence the cool girl.
The cool girl knows how to be impressive when it comes to instant self-care management. She will always look flawless in a series of “This is how I wake up” selfies. The cool girl knows how to talk about anything with anyone, from sex to football. They can appreciate fancy food and dig goodheartedly at disgusting dishes. And, of course, they are updated in current affairs. This ability shows a great deal of intellect, but not to the extent of being too nerdy.
The cool girl finds women’s friendship too enigmatic, therefore she prefers to hang out with boys who are emotionally capable to be overly enigmatic in the first place. The cool girl throws dirty jokes, smokes weed and drinks a lot with the boys, incapable of feeling guilty afterward. The cool girl is the probably the most easy-going person you’ll ever meet because she does not wear her emotions on her sleeves. In bed, the cool girl offers anal sex because she knows you’d say yes. She understands her man’s needs.
The cool girl also wants the world to know that she makes no effort to achieve such fulfilling state. What she has can’t be taught to anyone else because it’s a birth trait. Like Jennifer Lawrence who unabashedly worships pizza in her media interviews and somehow manages to stay slim body. You know, I was born with this body, is what she is trying to say. Her flawless skin is not attained through expensive skin care regimes. No. It just happens to be silky soft and healthy. The cool girl does not even tell you that those rape jokes offend her. Yes, it sounds a lot like self-denial.
The bad news is that the cool girl phenomenon smacks of just another form of elitism. You’re not in the VIP club if you work your asses off to achieve something. Trying hard is not in the cool girl’s vocabulary, because it is something that only a bunch of serious, overly ambitious girls who clearly do not know how to have fun will do. The uncool girl would stay in to study for exams next week. The uncool girl with dreams to become a runway model would probably skip the pizza party because she needs to maintain her body weight.
By that definition, Anne Hathaway does not deserve the label cool girl, since she does not hide her respect for efforts. Anne has been called arrogant instead, because when she finds out bad news about her, she gets angry. The cool girl does not get angry, even when she has the right to be so, remember?
But women, let me tell you something: efforts are sexy.
The cool girl phenomenon has drowned men in the newest magical delusions of an ideal woman. Weary with the uptight, serious female archetypes, those who appreciate intellectuality or beauty a little too seriously, they long for the existence of a cool girl in their arms. The one girl they could take to anywhere without worrying she won’t fit in, because she is perfect in any situation. Men try to forget the fact that women are imperfect, and it will always be like that.
But the girl who refuses to have anal sex does that because for her, it hurts a lot. She does not understand football at all because she only subscribes to news about artificial intelligence or the latest fashion trend in the industry. However uncool that might sound, they’re simply being true to themselves.
So men, before you raise your expectation, let me tell you that there’s no such thing as the cool girl. She’s conjured out of the figment of your imagination. And even if she does exist, I surely hope you know better than Desi Collings. You know the duped guy in that movie about a cool girl.